When people said that coming to university will change your life completely, I never thought that it was true on such a huge scale. I was excited to move to Nottingham to study journalism, but most of all I was scared of what the new horizon is going to bring. I never expected any changes in my life; I was going to get on with my education and keep in touch with my boyfriend, who went to a different university, and live a healthy lifestyle.
Somehow, within three weeks of uni, my life took a sharp turn to the left, rolled upside down and left me stranded in an empty field of the unknown. This has really affected my mental health for a bit; sleepless nights, not eating, overthinking and hating being alone in my own room! It was now me, myself and I; left to figure out the rest of myself alone – maybe for the best. Loneliness is difficult to bear with, but I can assure you that it gets better… especially when you meet people who truly care about you. It helps.
I have yet again proved myself that no matter what choice I make, it always leads to where I am supposed to be going. It’s been just over a month since the start of uni and I am already learning a lot of things about myself that I wouldn’t have learnt if my life didn’t turn upside down; one of those things is that I really am stronger than I thought.
I always go back to a quote from Sylvia Plath’s best piece of writing (yes, according to me) ‘Bell Jars’, “how could I write about life when I’d never had a love affair or a baby or seen anybody die?”, which always reminds me that each individual experience, bad or good, adds to who we are. Every mental scar can heal, or even be stitched up (in the worst case scenario!), and each one of those experiences forms, bit by bit, the person that we are supposed to be.
Now that life has turned all the way over, I will keep hanging there until I figure out myself and I feel like my time at university will really teach me who I am and what my purpose in life is!